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POEMS - F TO L
Fantasia *
 
O poeta me falou
De bem, esperança e paz
Mas depois ele acordou
Fantasia, nada mais
 
O tal poeta me contou
Que com amor tudo se faz
Mas foi só dor que lhe restou
Fantasia, nada mais
 
Esse poeta afirmou
Que se deve ser audaz
Foi então que fraquejou
Fantasia, nada mais
 
O mesmo poeta chorou
Porque tudo se desfaz
De eterno, nada sobrou
Fantasia, nada mais
 
O pobre poeta indagou
Onde sua musa jaz
A inspiração lhe faltou
Fantasia. Nada mais.
 
©2002 Gisele Marasca 06/08/02

* TRANSLATION:

Fantasy

The poet spoke to me
Of goodness, hope and peace
But then he awoke
Fantasy, nothing more
 
Such poet told me
That love conquers all
But pain was all he had left
Fantasy, nothing more
 
This poet still affirmed
That we have to dare
But then he felt weak
Fantasy, nothing more
 
The same poet wept
For everything fades away
Of eternal, none was left
Fantasy, nothing more
 
The poor poet asked
Where his muse lay to rest
The inspiration was gone
Fantasy. Nothing more.


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Favorite

Like a sultan, sheik, maharajah
You pick, you choose or let go
You decide when or where
How much, how little
How soon, if ever
 
Not your only, your main
Never your first or last
Just another in many
Merely, routinely a favorite
 
©2004 Gisele Marasca 12/10/04

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Fear
 
Fear of being seen, fear of getting involved, fear
Of the consequences, fear of the causes, fear of feeling too much,
Fear of not feeling at all, fear of letting it out, fear of keeping it in,
Fear of getting to know, fear of being in the dark, fear
Of the pain, fear of the joy, fear of life, fear of death, fear of myself,
Fear of you, fear of us together,
Then apart,
Transcendental,
Overwhelming, incapacitating, powerful, raw, fear.
 
©2000 Gisele Marasca

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Follow
 
Don’t worry about tomorrow
Just follow your heart,
Your hopes and dreams
Follow your instinct
Your path ahead
Follow the lead,
The light
Follow the truth
The insight
Follow your muse
In the night
Just follow
And you will live
 
©2005 Gisele Marasca 01/19/05

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For Sam
 
It’s done
And you, so full of sorrow now
A dark veil covers the bright path ahead
Which you cannot see
Such difficult decision,
Even harder conclusion
A necessary obstacle, invaluable life lesson
Making who you are, shaping who you will be
Be brave, keep looking to that path ahead,
Never forgetting you are not alone
God loves you
And always will
 
©2003 Gisele Marasca 07/27/03

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Going Nowhere
 
Stale
Stagnant
Boring
Too placid
Complacent
Almost stopping
Going nowhere
Slow.... slow.... slow
So low
Almost none
Gone
 
©2001 Gisele Marasca 07/31/01

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I Am
 
I am Me
Expanded
Larger than life
Universal
 
©2008 Gisele Marasca 02/04/08

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I Can Love You
 
I find that I can love you
Wondrous, liberating discovery
That it doesn’t matter how
Tentatively or intensely
Maybe afraid, maybe bravely
Feeling loved in return
Or completely alone
Feeling quite mature,
Or perhaps a bit insane
I can allow myself to love you
 
I feel that I can love you
In peace or quiet unrest
In the distance, through the night
During the daily mundane tasks
In depth or just on the surface
Thoroughly or in smaller doses
Occasionally or all the time
Passionately, but also tenderly
Or even somewhat detached
I can definitely love you
 
I know that I can love you
Even if you are not perfect
Even if I’m not consistent
Even when I don’t have you
Even if we are just meant
To cross each other’s path
And in passing, painfully
Learn our love lessons
Then float on and away
I can still choose to love you
 
©2006 Gisele Marasca 08/12/06

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I Can’t
 
I can still feel you in me, still so much part of me
I can barely stand the hurt I know I’m causing you
I can be there for you and try to help you through
But I can’t just close my eyes and pretend anymore
I can see what went wrong, what will never change
I can believe in the potential of what could be different
I can also understand that it would never be the same
I just can’t search for the meaning of us anymore
I can remember every moment, every time, every thing
I can promise that my memory of you will always be
I can cry for you, hold you, and say I’ll miss you
But I can’t wait, long and hope for you anymore
I can mourn the ending of what could have been
I can regret that we were not able to find a way
I can hope that we still might find it some day
But I can’t tell you I will stay forever anymore
I can wish that you find happiness somewhere
I can put behind the disappointment and the pain
I can even say that I didn’t love you in vain
I just can’t love you as you need me to anymore
 
©2001 Gisele Marasca 01/17/01

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I Dream
 
I dream of an imaginary you
By my side
An idealized you
Who made the hard choices
Who heeded the signs
Who had the courage
Who took a stand
 
I dream of my own creation of you
One who was never born
One who never can be
I dream of my illusion of you
A vague silhouette,
A mere mirage, a pale shadow
I dream of a vision of you
Who only exists in my blurry, foggy eyes
And survives from scraps of distorted memories
 
And so I float alone and away
On and on through my unconnected life
As I dream of the one who never was
As I keep dreaming of the unreal you

©2006 Gisele Marasca 05/22/06

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I Know Your Heart
(For R.)
 
You may be flawed in your approach
Lack or exceed in communication
You may be hard to take at times
Rough around the edges
Prickly, bristled, barbed
Irritable, pettish, cross
Often under illusions, wounded
Out of control or over the top
 
You may be forgetful or careless at times
Emotionally absent, even
Falling short (fairly or not)
So distracted about us
Painfully out of touch
Harshly out of tune
Doing your worst, trying your best
Only to miss... and miss again
 
But deep down
When it matters
I know your heart
Your beautiful, caring
Generous, giving
Peaceful, gentle
First class, top of the line
One of a kind
Universal, transcendental
Lovingly strong, softly beating
Heart

©2023 Gisele Marasca 05/16/23

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I See You
 
You pride yourself on not feeling,
On not wanting, never needing,
On being neutral
And so completely in control
 
But in spite of your cold style,
Your strict rules, limited views
And narrow sight,
I can still see the Universe in your eyes
 
©2002 Gisele Marasca 08/17/02

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I Set You Free

I do love you
With the force of a love
that can’t be denied
Believe me, I tried
So many times
In so many ways
In day and night dreams
In prose and in verse
In pain and in vain
 
But you are not my answer
In this lifetime
You are just a lesson
I had to learn the hard way
The slow way, the only way
Now, lesson learned,
I set you free
 
And I would kindly appreciate it
If you returned the favor
 
©2007 Gisele Marasca 07/11/07

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I Trust
 
In spite of myself, I trust
For better or for worse, I trust
Knowing without knowledge, I trust
In faith or senselessly, I trust
With confidence or weakly, I trust
On firm or soft ground, I trust
With ease or resistance, I trust
With discipline or uncontrolled, I trust
In light or darkness, I trust
Helplessly,
Hopefully, I trust
Dutifully,
Wondrously, I trust
When I am alone,
And feeling afraid,
I trust
When all is lost
When there’s nothing left
Or nothing I can do
I trust

©2021 Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 04/08/21
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I Want You
 
I want you to miss me
As you miss the womb you were torn from
I want you to hunger for my whisper,
my scent, the softness of my skin,
And then realize how blind you were
I want you to burn, I want you to toss and turn
in your longing, your aching for me
I want you to be consumed
in your latent passion for me
I want your memories of me to flow,
frequent and flawless, through your mind
And your fantasies of me to drive you wild,
more than any reality ever could
I want you to writhe in misery
for knowing we could have been
I want you to regret not having taken the risk
As a gambler who folds to soon
I want you to despair in the knowledge that
I am your impossible dream, your missed opportunity,
your last chance, your only hope, your whole world
I want you to drown in the same agony
you were trying to spare yourself
by turning away from me
and I want you to realize what a trivial price
that would have been
I want you to be together, but so alone
I want you to cry as a motherless child
I want you to curse all your fears
I want you to endure a lifeless existence
And lose your mind and imagination
I want you to die a little more
Every day I’m not by your side
And when you finally understand
how much you need me,
I want to want you no more.
 
©2000 Gisele Marasca

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If I Only Knew
 
If I only knew the difference between
What I want and what I need
If I only knew how to be happy
With who I am and what I have
If I only knew how not to repeat old patterns
And how to step out of a vicious cycle
If I only knew how to believe
When life doesn’t make it easy
If I only knew how to pick myself up
And dust myself off when I fall
If I only knew how to be
More tolerant and understanding
More accepting and less self-centered
And still be true to my whole self
If I only knew
How to bring the past to term
How to make my dreams a reality
How to deal with disillusion
How to make the best of it
How to accept, but not compromise
How to shine, but not overshadow
How to help, but not interfere
How to live, not just exist
If I only knew how to be
A better listener
Less of a talker
A lot wiser
Less impulsive
More persistent
Less impatient
More serene
Less aggressive
More centered
Less insecure
More spiritual
Less material
If I only knew
All of those things, well
Then I would just be
Too damn good for this world

©2000 Gisele Marasca

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In The End

Sometimes I feel I don’t have the answers
I don’t have the courage, the wisdom
I don’t have the vision or direction
I don’t have the will or the way
 
Sometimes I falter
I hesitate, I stumble
Very often I fear,
I wonder if I’m on the right track
 
Too many times I vacillate,
make the wrong choices
or do nothing when I should act
 
And yet
There’s this transcendental feeling
That the Universe is unfolding as it should
And that I’ll get where I need to be
Through the endless detours
In the end

©2005 Gisele Marasca 01/23/05

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In the Outskirts
 
As the world turns
Inside out
Upside down,
More and more are
Barely living or
Merely surviving
In the outskirts

©2024 Gisele Marasca 02/29/24

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Is That All?
 
To be insignificant, fragile, frail
Infinitesimally small
In the Big Scheme Of Things?
To be half eaten while still living
By one higher in the food chain
To make me bear witness to your pain
When it was just too late to intervene
To compel me to call for assistance
To help end your short existence
Is that all you came here for?
 
©2024 Gisele Marasca 03/01/24

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It Came

Just ignore it, I thought to myself
And it will have to go away
It can’t survive if I don’t feed it
It needs a place to stay
 
But it kept coming back to me
And it just wouldn’t let me go
And it made it feel so right
And it made me want to know
 
Run away, I said to myself
It is not a good time for this
I have to avoid the heartache
That has to come after the bliss
 
So I tried to treat it badly
And I tried to push it away
But it just looked at me sadly
And said it was here to stay
 
I cried, please shut it off
I begged, shut it away
Shut it up, shut it down
Shut it, just shut it, I pray!
 
I thought, I said, and I tried
But it just wouldn’t go away
Too late; it’s too late, I said
Now it is here to stay

©2000 Gisele Marasca 12/00

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It's Time

We seem to be going through a spiritual crisis that can be seen and felt in our state of affairs, in the current health crisis, throughout the whole world…
We believe disbelieving
We trust without trust
We don’t really let go; we have a hard time forgiving ourselves and others
We lack in care and compassion for people and other living beings, for the planet that sustains us
We think so much of ourselves and so little of others; and when we think of others, it’s often to opinionate, interfere or enable
We talk a lot, but don’t listen a great deal
We don’t want to be judged, but constantly hit the gavel on the base
We want openness and acceptance, but are often close-minded and unyielding
We want attention and sympathy, but don’t offer that much
 
We get lost in semantics and definitions and comparisons
We believe we own the one truth (or lack thereof)
We beat our chests professing this or that conviction, but our thoughts and actions hardly ever reflect what we express ever so loudly
We harden our hearts and justify ourselves and our reactions, but are intolerant of the same in others
We want so much, but we want it fast and easy, not wanting to work too hard or pay the price
And still we expect, demand and feel entitled to all that is good
Whenever we are tested in our resolve, we suffer and complain in a complacent way; we are angry and depressed; we indulge and numb; we blame others and deflect; and we fail to listen to the higher guidance that’s so lovingly and freely offered to us
We take too much responsibility for what’s not ours to carry or fix, and not enough for what is
 
But there’s hope; the answers are within all of us
We are here, we are now for a reason
It’s time to connect with our inner power and soul purpose
It’s time for change on a deeper level
To rediscover ourselves
To find our truth and follow our calling
Not on the surface, not just with lip service
It’s time to mean and to own it,
It’s time to deliver
And be delivered in Love and Light
It’s time
 
© 2020 Gisele Marasca 05/28/20

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Just Love

Love
Unrestricted
Uncontained
Without fear
Without gain
 
Love
Without rules
Without pauses
No consequence,
Reasons, causes
 
Love
First and last
In pleasure or pain
Right or wrong
Even in vain
 
Love
With all your soul
With all your might
Just love and love
And fill your heart

©2008 Gisele Marasca 02/05/08

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Less

Every time you show
lack of passion
lack of interest
lack of effort
lack of
You
make me less interested
less passionate
less willing
lesser me

©2003 Gisele Marasca 01/01/03

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Letter To A Potential Lover *

I know you are out there. Also waiting. Longing. Dreaming.
Yes, I’m talking to you. I know who you are.
You will move me...
You will move me to ecstasy.
You will move me to tears.
You will move me to tenderness.
You will appreciate every part of me.
You will need me more than life.
You will make me suffer, but that will just make me feel more alive.
Yes, you will be sensitive, but not sentimental...
You will be passionate, but not fanatic.
You won’t be afraid of saying what you think, feeling what you feel.
You won’t be afraid to look deep into my eyes, to dive in, to bare your soul.
And you will help me lose my own fears.
You will be daring, experimental. You won’t accept set rules; you will make your own.
But you will be fair and compassionate.
You will enjoy the scent of a woman, the taste of a woman. You will love to love.
You will be a giver, but you will be willing to receive all the love, all the passion I have been storing for you.
You will understand everything better than the others; you will know what is going on.
You will get the subtleties, the nuances of life.
We will connect on a deeper level than most people.
But we will have to pretend for everybody else’s sake.
I will not have a choice but to love you.
I’m waiting for you. I’m preparing for you.
For when you finally come to me, I will have learned to not try to protect myself, to close myself in my own little shell, to delude myself into thinking that life is supposed to be easy and that the pleasure is not worth all the pain.
I will be ready for you.
Because you will make me believe in love, in life.
Even if for just a fleeting moment in time.

©1999 Gisele Marasca
* Published as part of the anthology Poets Unleashed, compiled by Ron Cross

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Life... As Seen Upside Down
 
Which side up?
Am I upside down or
Has the world flipped on me?
Birds are flying belly up
The tree tops turned bottom heavy
And everyone else’s bottom up
 
I can walk on the sky
And the earth is the limit
And life is so much more fun
When seen upside down
 
©2023 Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 05/01/23

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Love Again

Not you
Nothing you could do
Now and before
Ever again
No pain or shame
For you or him
Will change what is
What has always been
It was time
Term
Too soon
Not soon enough
No matter now
It will come to pass
And you will trust
Love again

©2004 Gisele Marasca 03/20/04

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Love In Fur
 
At night all cats are gray
In the dark, in the shadows
Of our beings
Other mystical realms
But light reveals glaring colors,
Beguiling nuances
Sinuous shapes, sharp senses
 
Independent love
Yet needy, demanding at times
Disdainful love
Yet profound, intense at times

Always watchful, ever present
Loyal, playful, mischievous
Love in fur
 
©2023 Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 04/29/23
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